I have the day off today from work, and can I tell you how much I'm enjoying it? Getting to sleep in a little bit more, then heading out to be wrapped in almost-summer warmth (it's mid-March, my gosh!) and now at Starbucks, sipping on a iced caramel macchiato and working on my laptop. I feel productive in a very relaxed way. I haven't felt like this in a long, long time. I hope this boosts my energy and productivity level when I get back to work tomorrow. In the meantime, this is day-off bliss!

Happy 2012!

I'm coming back from a drought of entries, I know. There were times where I had an urge to write about something, but I never followed through. To be honest, I do not know who still reads my journal, but my main purpose of having this journal really is just so I have a personal space to express myself through writing.

Anyway, usually to start off a new year, we get asked what our resolutions are. I do not make resolutions anymore because I break them too easily, so I have started assigning more like a theme or motto to each year. 2010 was the Year of the Cough (which totally was not my choice) where I suffered a whole year of horrible coughing up until the first half of 2011. It initially was the Year of Trying New Things, which I did do and so I was proud of myself.

So in 2011, my focus was on recovering from my cough which in turn became the Year of Mellowing Out because I felt like taking a long break. But now that that year is over, I am now going to follow through on things I've been meaning to do for too long, so 2012 is officially the Year of Things on the Back Burner. Yes, I have a lot of things cooking on that back burner that I haven't finished, so that is my goal this year.

I could also call this year the Year of Weddings...seriously, so many people are getting married (or at least engaged). But that wouldn't be a theme that would apply to me personally, in case you're wondering. ;) It really is nice to see people find love and make that commitment. I am very happy for others, and it makes me smile. :)

Anyway, let's see what this year will bring. Wishing you all good health, happiness and everything nice in between!

A week ago, I came back from a trip to Orlando, Florida. It was nice to get away from here, where the most I'd worry about over there is if I had enough sunscreen on and whether my feet would fall off due to the strenuous walking each day. For just a few days, I temporarily ditched thoughts I'd usually mull over and mope about here. Though exhausting in many ways, the trip served as a nice break from it all, which is what vacations are supposed to do.

I was glad to be back though. I like familiarity, and there are loads of that here. But those darn problems and worries were waiting for me too, and right away I was back where I started. Maybe I really ought to start changing things in my life. I'm not exactly happy with where I am right now. I mean, I'm satisfied, but there is so much more that can be done.

As I constantly hear about friends getting engaged/married or getting their own places these days, I realize we really are growing up. There is no denying it. And since I'm nowhere near either of those life milestones, I can't help but feel like I'm not achieving anything. I know, those aren't the only things in life that we strive for, nor are they necessarily sure measures of success or happiness. But it just feels like EVERYONE is getting something done.

There are so many tasks I haven't gotten to, and have been on my to-do list for so long. I have not yet been able to let go of something that once made me happy, and I know I can't hold hope for it any longer. I don't have a plan for the next few years. I recently asked something I shouldn't have and now I feel the pressure. I am still too hard on myself. I can go on and on, but I should stop and tell myself that now that I have let this all out, it is time to start doing and not mope.

Can bitterness be a motivation? Can false hope help through rough patches? I'm tired of this. You know what, it must be the gloomy, rainy weather outside that is dampening my mood now. *shakes fist at window*